cold day.cold me. cold cold insanity

My mind is in this strange state of bewilderment. strange. strange. I'm feeling shaky all over and not very good...

Oh God..yan stop being so melodramatic.

Really. I don't think I am. I have to put it here because I know he reads it (from my lipton iced-tea entries to my take on Johnny Depp in Pirates 2). Because I know that's the only way anyone's going to hear me say anything. Because I know it's the only way to get the message across. Because it's the only place where I can say what I want and not be frightened by the notion of it. Because also, it's my blog and it's about my life. Really, no matter how boring and mundane it is..

If you're not interested..stop here and don't go any further
It's not going to be a very cheery entry because I don't feel a tad cheery at the moment.

I really don't understand how things can be so?

Weren't there promises made? I'm trying to keep my end. And you know what it hurts when promises aren't kept. It hurts when you don't talk to me or tell me things. Because it's like I'm boring. (well maybe i am)

I really wouldn't like to hear "it's ok". Because things aren't...at least I think they aren't..unless you or someone would bother to tell me otherwise, or convince me otherwise.

It's sad.
I'm sad.
I don't know.
I think I'm going to have more ice-cream by myself tonight.

yah. i think that's what i'll do.

As nickelback sings:

"That I love you

I have loved you all along

And I miss you

Been far away for far too long

I keep dreaming you'll be with me

and you'll never go

Stop breathing if

I don't see you anymore"

seems. after the flowers and all those other nice things. well. well. well. i must be dreaming.