Me against the world - no one can EVER not be materialistic

I was planning to go to Turkey over summer. The trip would take me to Istanbul and all over Turkey - it would bring me to the highly acclaimed yet mysterious bazaars of Turkey, to the ruins of the old Ottoman empire, to the river that divides Turkey from Europe to the East, I would be able to see the people, take in the sights and sounds of this mystical place, enjoy "tactile" representations of a place so often heard, with so much history yet known so little. It will and would be a good trip, there would be credits towards my arts degree and I would be doing what I loved, enjoyed and filled that gaping hole of curiousity that had been aroused since I first heard about the great Ottoman Empire.

But...I'm not going anymore. Or, rather I decided that I wouldn't and shouldn't go. Despite all the benefits, all the things that I'm going to learn, all the extra work that I'll have to engage in over summer, the $10k price tag doesn't justify it. Yes, it's going to cost close to a freaking 10,000 sing dollars to go for 3 weeks. Heck, 10k could take you on a around-the-world trip for first class (?? I reckon!) . Even though I really want to go, make that desperately want to go, I can't bring myself to spend 10,000 bucks in 3 weeks. On myself. On something perhaps, that can be considered extra. You know 10,000 bucks is probably an amount that I wouldn't see for the next 10 years of my life. 10,000 bucks is living expenses for a whole year. 10,000 bucks is what my dad can't bear to spend on himself, and yet, willing to spend on me. I don't deserve it, but he surely does. It just doesn't justify it.. no it fucking doesn't.

I just seriously don't understand why university education has become such a luxury. Why is there a price tag of 1,200 bucks for a subject in university? Whatever happened to all that talk about equality, about bettering social circumstances, of pulling people outta of proverty, of increasing taxes so that the social and income gap would shrink? What happened to all those speeches about equal chances?

What FUCKING happens if someone really brilliant couldn't go to university because s/he didn't have the money to do so?

Sorry I rarely swear when I blog? But it's just come to a point where I don't really get it. You know, on one hand I see people around me working so hard - my parents paying for this "brand" of education, there are those who are clocking 100 work weeks, 2 jobs and all those sorta things to support their families, finance their house and the car - on the other hand, there are those who are deciding that spending 1000 bucks on a bag is nothing, neither is spending $20,000 in half an hour on clothes.

You see where this leading? I dont' know. Maybe I should just not bemoan about things I really have no control over.

Go watch Morgan Spurlock's new documentry. "30 days" it's a hit.


(daddy, I'm not upset that I'm not going. In fact, I'm estatic that you even said yes. I'll be happy at home! )