What has been, will be, to be.

It's been another week already. Work hasn't been overwhelming, it's just been tiring. On hindsight though, I've learnt alot this week and I guess you learn best when you have to do those seemingly simple things yourself. It's all a learning process really.

Charms posted a beautifully written entry just today I think. And it encapsulates everything that I feel. I miss home now, but I do know that things have changed. I know that my parents, even my sisters have gotten used to my absence, it's like that space that I left behind has been filled, albeit, perhaps, somewhat haphazardly. And because of that, I also know that "that" something that I wish that would happen with him, the possibility becomes smaller each and every consecutive day. The question thus becomes...must this be so?

This is simply so as life does go on, every day when we wake up, every day when we go about doing all the little things that we have to do, the routines, the surprises, when we fulfil our responsibilities wherever we are, things do change - whether for the better or worse. Put simply, it is perhaps like when you are away from home, you hold on and not want to let go because those are things that keep you sane and drive you in the right direction. You want to believe that your space hasn't been taken and filled up somewhere. You want to believe that there's still that nice perfect place that you can go back to at the end of the day, when you leave this place that you might take as home, just for a while - in a strange way, just a wandering pilgrim.

I got back my bio lab report today and i flunked that assignment by a measly half mark. Maybe it's a sign that developmental's just the wrong way to go for me. I haven't done well at all the whole semester in the subject. Still, that's not the terrifying bit. The terrifying bit's that I cannot be bothered any longer. At this point of time, I'm tired of trying hard and working hard, I'm tired of putting in extra effort and not get anywhere - it's just like one of those brick wall things that you just keep crashing into, and how disappointed you get increases with an increasing amount of effort.

Theres just some people who bloody irritates me and I can't take it.
Housemate, just in case you're reading this....it's not you ok?