I have a problem.....

I binge eat when things go wrong. Like really really binge eat. I'm an emotional eater and the fact that i'm ALONE here, makes it even worse. All the diet things, all the calorie counting goes out of the window the moment i begin the process of trying to make myself feel better. I just did it a while ago...say 10 mins perhaps, I had two slices of birthday cake, two coloured kuehs, a muffin and a slice of pizza. It's not that unhealthy if you just think of it as since it's all homemade it ought not to be that bad (especially since the person who made it is more health conscious that i am), BUT it's still alot. I'm feeling gulity for it now! too late....too late....too late...i can hear myself inside my head laughing at myself..

I don't know why I woke up this morning with a bout of melancholy and tiredness, that refused to go away even with the sun shining and the weather, a nice and cool 22 degrees. I don't know. Maybe it's coz' last night I made a committment, to be a light forever and forever for GOD, no matter how long it took...and I'm being tested for it now...I guess I am. It's hard honestly it is....it's like makin that committment last night placed another red garb on me that i'm now a clearer target for the devil's missiles.

Please pray.

I almost caused a huge accident in driving today. Another thing about driving in Australia, there is no such thing as applying emergency brake. I don't understand how they do it but, 3 metres away from the stop line, I don't emergency brake, but rather I just take my foot off the accelerator and let the car glide, even though I'm travelling at 60 km/h. It doesn't work out, it really doesn't..i don't know how. sighs.

I hope friday's going to be better. I'm going to go mope for a bit and then I've gotta go and be a lawyer again. Bah.

Hope everyone's May day holiday is going good!