A quiet new year

Last new year, I got home around this time...pissed drunk, couldn't even walk in a striaght line and I had spent the whole night hoping for something that I was in denial about.

This new year, I woke up extremely early and went for a long walk with my family. Sang songs with my sisters and went crazy for a while. I suppose I enjoyed doing both, but I think being in purgatory has put things into perspective for me. For me, being away has made me realise how much I've depended on my family for company and solace. How much I appreciate all the hugs and nudges in the right direction.

This new year, the pages in the papers are still plastered with stories coming out of Sri Lanka and the rest of the places that have been hit by Tsunamis. This year, there was no crazy live telecast of the cliche new year party held at Sentosa every year. This year, everyone's a bit more sombre and time seemed to have stood still as people begin to reflect.

This new year, I've become increasingly frustrated being in crowds and in the midst of alot of people. The only time I would bear with crowds is for the Mango sale. ;) I've started to criticise the service industry for the obnoxious and bad service that is being provided.

This new year, I'm going to be 20. Big girl. But yet, not that big because I thought when I became 20 I'll have known who I really am. But i've learnt more about myself. I've learnt how much and hard it is to love someone so hard that it still hurts sometime even though we're friends.

This year, I realised that no one can force me to give up the things that I like and make me compromise the things that I like and the life that I live. I learnt that I need space to think and that when I'm like that people should get the hint and leave me alone. I've learnt that I get tired of trying too.

Hmmss..actually all the this year things..ought to be the old year now.
Happy new year.