IT seems that it's always a crazy time.

i was always one who said that the world was too small, born and bred singaporean, went to fairfield and then AC. BUT today, i finally comprehended how small MY world was. it started out as i was spacing out during my last class for the day and then i realised, that isabel and i knew each other, back home..her good friend was very close to my good friend, she didn't know my good friend well, and i didn't know her good friend well..but we got around to knowing each other. get my drift? yes and to further reiterate this...Leonard's secondary school junior passed away in a car accident and I had just read the same piece of news just a couple of days ago..strange sense of deja vu really.

i've used and done with my chance of starting afresh, brand new.

i had bak kut teh and chocolate fondue for dinner today. Leonard made Bak ku teh from the spices all the way from malaysia [it's by C&C], chocolate fondue courtesy of Isabel and I. it was really nice, a nice time of fellowship, it was nice to share and take a breather from what time has become. it's flying past..shooting away really. it's paradoxical..it's both scary and nice at the same time. Scary coz' the exams are round the corner, nice because i'm going home soon. AGAIN. yet i'm afraid too..afraid about what MIGHT happen when i go back. it never actually occurred to me how much i've left behind and moved on since i came over in FEB. till i went back home that is. i really didn't want to be running away and beginning anew, but then there are some things that only time away, alone would heal.

there are still certain issues, certain admissions made that i've not come to terms with. and NO, it's not Yankee Doodles. in retrospect, i bear no hurtful and hateful feelings.. i'm glad it ended there and then. even though i admit that i did hide that glimmer of hope that things would work, BUT being free from pining after a person..i was able to do whatever i wanted..i could choose to worry about the people i knew that would worry for me, i could spend more time on alot more people rather than one individual. i think it made of difference in my world. and where i am now.

and yes, this world is always a crazy time. Crazy, insane and warped. i'm here..in laidback Australia but i know deep inside i'm always rushing about. in fact i think the phrase "gan chiong spider" would best be used to describe me. i'm rushing about to class, rushing about between classes..i think the only time that i'm not doing that would be on my walk home, waking up 15 mins earlier in the last two days to have some quiet time with GOD. i'm always feeling terrible, feeling i'm imposing on people. maybe that's why i'm so exhausted at the end of the day, from doing nothing except rushing about. rushing about in my head, sometimes in my heart and yes, at time in what i do. I wish i didn't have to. BUT this is not a time to slow down yet.

i've got alot of things to do. alot of things to achieve. alot of dreams waiting to be fulfilled. and most importantly, i've gotta seek after him. GOD.

but i'll have time i know, to sit back, relax and yes, drink orange juice=) because he'll see to it that i do.