DAMMIT

i knew i ought to have just gone to bed early, just eaten my chocolate banana with baked apples, not watched miriam, not read my new magazines and gone to bed..BUT i didn't..NOOOOOOOOOOOOO....i'm having a huge headache again..i wonder if it's my body's conditioned response whenever i start being made aware of things that i didn't previously know and would have been better off not knowing...i just got off the phone with Leonard and we discussed HISTORY and yes, i realised how rojak and half-baked the lecturers here now, how they're lectures focus on different things, how they confuse us about what they require from us, what they are emphasising on..i'm getting a headache just thinking about it and i think it just made my post-law exam headache alot worse than it already is..i feel like having ice-cream..sighs i don't know..i'm just having a bad headache..

my law exam went by today, i hoped for alot but now i'm not too sure about that hoping and expectation, i'm glad it's over but i'm not really sure whether i'm glad of the amount of effort i put in, i mean there are too many what ifs? and i'm getting a headache thinking about it. yes headache, everything's contributing to it. actually i don't even dare sleep. maybe i'll finish that chapter of my psych just to make myself feel better before i head to bed...sighs.

i dreamt of Yankee Doodle last night. sighs i don't know about that either. now all i wanna do is go home. i hate it when things are so terribly uncertain, hate it when i don't know where things are headed or how they're outcome would be like.

i just HATE not knowing.
chocolate ice cream....